There it was…..This was the monster…..This was the beast that was attacking everyone. I froze! I hid! I knew I had to do something. It stood on our famous building as if it was looking for someone.
Around the corner,was all of my friends running out of their houses with their family’s. I had to defeat this evil hand from destroying our village. This dreadful creature was not getting away this time. I looked away when I looked back he was there right in front of my frightened face. I hit! He flicked! I bit! the mysterious hand was dead!
VICTORY!
I like your use of short sentences it made me read more quickly and feel in a panic!